"Straight From The Donkey's Mouth"

WELCOME TO OUR BRITISH BORN GREEK CYPRIOT MAKE FUN OF EVERYTHING, AND EVERYONE, UNDER THE SUN, ONLINE SATIRE, COMEDY, AND MY CYPRUS DIARY PUBLICATION.

 WE HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY HERE, AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO SEE WHAT THE RICH AND FAMOUS, AND THE CELEBRITY STARS ARE SAYING ABOUT US, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE, BEFORE YOU CATCH UP WITH THE LATEST NEWS.!

YOU CAN, TRY TO FIND CYPRUS BELOW IF:

YOU TAKE A VERY POWERFUL MAGNIFYING GLASS, AND LOOK AT THE BELOW MAP, IN THE MIDDLE APPROXIMATELY, YES THAT TINY, LITTLE, SPECK OF AN ISLAND, IN THE EASTERN MEDITERRANEAN, CALLED CYPRUS, OR IS IT A PIECE OF DIRT ON YOUR SCREEN...

 

"Straight From The Donkey's Mouth"

The only site that gives you a full refund of your time, if you claim to have wasted it here.!

and also note that,

WE ARE A POP-UP FREE SITE, READ WITHOUT YOU SUFFERING A COMPUTER RAGE ATTACK, KEEP YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE LOW, AND KEEP YOUR COMPUTER HAPPY, AND IN ONE PIECE!...

IMPORTANT NOTICE, PLEASE READ 1 - 7 BELOW:

THE ONLINE PUBLICATION THAT:

1. we write, whenever we have nothing better to do...

2. we write, for people like you to read, when you have nothing else better to do...

3. we write, for confirmed intellectuals...

4. we write for people who have a great sense of humor...

5. we write, that makes you proud to be caught reading it by your boss, when you should have been working instead!...

6. we write, to help us all laugh, maybe learn a thing or two, and pass the time, until eventually, the good old days return!...

7. we write, for all 4 genders, the standard, "Male or Female," the optional "X" if you are Australian, and the ever increasing in global popularity, the "not really sure"...

If you have found the missing donkey hidded in 1 - 7 above, then please continue.

If you have not found the donkey, then here is a big clue for you...perhaps you have found him now?

WELCOME TO OUR ONLINE BRITISH CYPRIOT COMEDY AND SATIRE PUBLICATION!

HEALTH, SAFETY, AND THE STATE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WARNINGS, IF YOU:

  • are lacking in humour, easily offended, or are quite busy, you should leave the site immediately...
  • are under 18, please either leave the site, or ask an adult to sit next to you before continuing...
  • are over 70, please either leave the site, or ask a doctor, to sit next to you before continuing...
  • have a weak heart, weak lungs, a weak bladder, or high blood pressure, read only when in hospital...
  • have an embarrassing laugh, or tendency to spit, and drool all over the place when laughing, please take all necessary precautions before continuing...
  • don't have a sense of humour, or, have an IQ of less than unlucky 13, or, worse still, both, don't even bother continuing...

DISCLAIMER:

  • The Straight From The Donkey's Mouth online publication is intended for a mature audience, or an immature audience, of legal age...
  • All articles are pure fiction, fake news, my opinion, and meant to be funny. All names are fake, except for celebrities, politicians, and anyone else we feel like throwing into the spotlight to make fun of...
  • Any resemblance to actual events are purely coincidental, well, sort of...
  • References to the damage we have done, and continue to do to our children's home, our planet, and our beloved Mother Earth, are very real indeed...
  • References to the current global financial crisis, the slow purposeful extinction of the middle class, and that mankind seems not to know where it is going, is also very real...

FOR YOUR USELESS INFORMATION:

  • Male donkeys are called Jacks, and female donkeys are called Jennies. The female's gestation period takes around 12 months. Donkeys can live, on average about 30 - 50 years, and are well known for being stubborn. An obvious difference between Jacks, and Jennies is that Jennies have the standard 4 legs, and Jacks have 4.5 legs...
  • This online publication is based on pure fantasy, is absolute, and total rubbish, and is a pure figment, of your imagination...
  • If you have found this site to be un-funny, offensive, or a total waste of your time, then that is your problem, for being a Jack, or Jennie, and for reading up to here it in the first place...we did warn you above, see above, first note in warnings!...
  • If you actually bothered to scroll up to check if we did write the warning, then maybe you ain't so dumb after all, and there might just be hope for you yet...
  • If you have already learnt something totally new and useless, possibly about donkeys, and wish to further your education, learn the latest news, whilst having a good laugh in the process, then please, read on...

OUR TEAM AND I:

  • wish to thank every single one of you for accidently arriving to our site...
  • wish to thank every one of your enemies, that sent you to our site as a joke...

OUR MISSION IS TO:

  • rid the world of sad faces, and replace them with laughter and smiles...
  • publish and share the humour in our minds, before we go totally bananas, and forget it all...
  • give you a taste and a glimpse into life and living in Cyprus.
  • become rich and famous in the process...
  • live the dream, and feel good about it, whilst in total denial...
  • to have world peace?...

IF YOU:

  • are one of those, who knows that you are smarter than the guy sitting next to you..
  • know that you have a great sense of humour...
  • know that reading total crap and other exciting, and totally useless stuff, can be an awesome experiance...

THEN PLEASE READ ON:

  • We genuinely hope that you the reader, will enjoy our site, and hopefully, we can teach you a thing or two, and perhaps it will help to bring some fun into your lives, even if it is just by making one of you smile, or say "Ah, Cyprus, I wish I was there"...

Click on the icons below, to see what the rich, famous, and luckiest people on Earth, are thinking, and saying about,

"Straight From The Donkey's Mouth" 

 Feel free to hit any of the blue like buttons below, if you did actually like what you have seen on this page so far, if not, then please hit the bright pink dis-like, and in very bad taste button, which can be found sometimes below too, but not always. Just a little more, and you can go onto the world news stories, found at the top of the page, always, and that is where the fun starts...

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 "Straight From The Donkey's Mouth"

  

IF, by some strange reason you enjoyed our site, please let others know and help us get, spoilt, rich, and famous, and maybe finally employ some computer nerds, to help make this site more professional looking, complicated, and non-user friendly for you to browse through having fun!

we love you all, really, yes we do, xxx

 

ALSO PLEASE NOTE THAT, WE ARE WILLING TO WRITE FOR A VERY CHEAP RATE, AND FOR FOOD, BOTH HOT OR COLD, AND GRADE A++ CARROTS...DON'T MISS OUT, THIS SPECIAL AND LIMITED OFFER, WHICH IS ONLY VALID UNTIL WE GET DISCOVERED.! 

 

NOW SCROLL UP TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE, AND BROWSE OUR SMALL AND EASY TO NAVIGATE SITE. BRING YOURSELF UP TO DATE WITH IMPORTANT NEWS STORIES, OR READ MY DIARY AND GET A TASTE OF CYPRUS, AND KNOCK YOURSELF OUT HAPPILY, AND IN RELATIVE SAFETY!...

 

The real Disclaimer for news satire:

Straight from the donkeys mouth is a news satire online humor publication. All articles and news within this site are fake news, satire news, and political humor. All names are fictional, except for celebrities and politicians. The, “Straight From The Donkey’s Mouth” online publication is intended for a mature audience.

 
 

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